Resources

Local Groups

Puget Sound Polyamory Meetup Group (meetup) - The Puget Sound Polyamory Meetup group is an inclusive social group for those who identify as polyamorous, who practice ethical non-monogamy, are curious about different relationship styles, or wish to be supportive of polyamorous friends or family. We welcome those of all gender identities, sexual preferences, race, religion, economic factors, or different levels of ability. Events are hosted through the Puget Sound region of Seattle, Tacoma, Olympia, Everett, and their greater metro areas.

Seattle Poly Peeps (facebook) - Seattle community group for those interested in, or currently practicing, polyamory.

Poly In Seattle (facebook) - A group for those who practice ethical non-monogamy in the Seattle Metro area.

Pacific Northwest Polyamory (facebook) - Pacific Northwest Polyamory fosters dialogue, education, and support for ethically nonmonogamous persons 18+ in the PNW. Pacific Northwest Polyamory encourages discussion and questions related to ethical nonmonogamy (ENM)/consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) but with a focus on polyamory.

Seattle Poly Professionals (meetup) - In an effort to figure out ways to meet others, this Meetup was born with the goal of bring together groups of poly folk in the area. Let’s work together to make a group for us fun, sparkly, happy, poly people here in the rainy city, and create opportunities to meet, discuss poly issues, have a bite to eat, have a cocktail, plan outings, plan get-togethers, flirt, connect, fall in love, and all the other wonderful things that poly folks do.

Puget Sound Polyamory (facebook) - Puget Sound Polyamory is a group designed to foster dialogue, provide educational opportunities, community building, and be a support for polyamorous folks 21+ in the Puget Sound area. We encourage discussion and questions related to ethical consenual nonmonogamy but with a focus on polyamory.

Tacoma Olympia Polyamory Society (facebook) - We're an 18+ social group for polyamorous folk in the Pierce County area. We'll hold social events for adults only and family friendly events too! The primary objective is to connect with likeminded people to create a community and help people make new friends!

Seattle Polyamory Under 40 (meetup) - This group is a community organization that creates spaces and opportunities for non-monogamous people to meet, form relationships, and have fun together. This is a bottom-up organization, meaning that nearly all of our events and activities are planned and hosted by the members themselves, including the co-organizer team.

Seattle Polyamory Under 40 (facebook) - For unofficial events, planning official Meetup events, and general polyamory talk.

Seattle Poly (FetLife) - This group caters to poly folk of all stripes in the greater Seattle area. Meet people, get together for group get-togethers, and generally kibitz.

SW Washington Polyamory (facebook) - This is a group for Polyamorous folk, talks, discussions and more for Tacoma, Olympia, Vancouver areas.

Tacoma Polyam and Ethical Non-Monogamy (facebook) - This is a group for those practicing or interested in polyamory and/or ethical non-monogamy who live in or visit the Tacoma WA area.

Seattle Polyamory Foodies (facebook) - We are an all-inclusive social group for those who identify as polyamorous, who practice ethical non-monogamy, consensual non-monogamy and passionate about food.

Seattle Area Polyamorous Parents (facebook) -

Seattle Poly Potluck (facebook) - This is a very friendly and casual group that has been serving the poly community since 1991. The group is open to the public but meets in a private space so the atmosphere is welcoming and safe. Privacy and respect are paramount! We start with a social time and move to small group discussions and/or special presentations by invited speakers. The conversations are informal and subject matter is chosen by our volunteers and/or participants.

PNW ENM/Polyamory (facebook) - There are several ENM/Polyamory groups in the great PNW. This one is ours. A mixture of lifestyles, but for the like-minded. We hope you enjoy your stay!

Seattle to Portland Poly Partners (FetLife) - Regionally speaking, this is a place where poly peeps of all orientations can reach out to find one another. A little sliver to talk about things bothering us, that we need others who know what we're talking about. And hopefully, this group can be a way to discuss and plan local events, and easily post a personal ad to find that special someone(s).

Everett Poly (FetLife) - Everett Poly members identify as polyamorous or are curious about polyamory. Group posts may ask for poly and nonmonogamy advice, observations about polyamory, happy poly stories, links to resources, and so on. We are based in the north Everett Area but welcome like minded people from surrounding communities.

Tacoma Poly Group (FetLife) - A group created for networking, sharing events & meeting like minded Poly people.

Seattle Poly Society (FetLife) - The Seattle Poly Society is yet another Seattle Poly group. Not necessarily a personal ad group, but a group to post about poly friendly events/munches/ meet ups, ask questions, have discussions and etc...

Tacoma Polyamory Under 45 (meetup) - This is the sister group of the 'Seattle Polyamory under 40 (SPU40) community organization that creates spaces and opportunities for non-monogamous people to meet, form relationships, and have fun together.

Seattle Polyamory Events (facebook) - A group for those practicing or exploring polyamorous relationships to connect with others for events.

PNW Polyam Connections (facebook) - PNW Polyam Connections is one of many Polyamory groups located in the PNW designed to create a space where local individuals can find and create varies local connections ranging from: dates, meetups, friends, etc.

Ethical Non-Monogamists of the NW (facebook) - This group is mainly a discussion group for everyone in the ENM umbrella, as well as a place to gain knowledge if you are new. Lastly, to be a place to find like minded individuals without fear of being told that you are practicing any version of non-monogamy wrong. The group is designed for those newly in or already in the lifestyle. For the protection of our members we will not be adding those requesting simply out of curiosity. The group can also be a resource to meeting others in your area, that said this is NOT a dating/profile group.

Seattle Area Gay+ Poly Men (facebook) - This is a group for connecting with other gay polyamorous men in the Seattle and surrounding areas. Also for polyamorous discussion that can help others decide what that may be/mean for them.

PNW Polyamorous Stoners (facebook) - A polyamorous stoner group to meet like minded individuals, make friends and discuss all things polyamory & marijuana.

PNW Ethically Non-Monogamous Hikers (facebook) - This is a group dedicated to ethically non-monogamous (ENM) folks in the Pacific Northwest that love to hike and/or camp. Some of us have partners that don't like the outdoors. So what better way to find others with the same love of the outdoors AND that are in open relationships? Need a hiking partner? Post about about your plans, meeting times, carpooling, etc. Want to create a big get-together? Post an event. Proud of yesterday's hike? Post some photos.

Conferences

Poly Living - February in Philadelphia, PA

Rocky Mountain Poly Living - May in Denver, CO

Southwest Love Fest - April in Tucson, AZ

MNPolyCon - July in Minneapolis, MN

Solo Polyamory Conference - October in New York, NY

PolyDallas Millennium - November in Dallas, TX

Therapists

Branching Out Wellbeing - Tai Lee (they/them), Carrie Ancel (they/she), and Karyn Wittmeyer (she/they) are sex therapists who specialize in working with nonmonogamous, LGBTQIA+ and kinky clients. They see individuals and couples to help them through any challenges they may face in their relationships, work, or mental health. Everyone provides telehealth services, Karyn can see clients in their office in Kent, and Tai can do walk and talk therapy near the UW campus.

Clarity Counseling Seattle - Since 2010, Clarity Counseling Seattle has been a trusted group of Seattle-area therapists specializing in sex therapy, intimacy counseling, and relationships of all types. We focus our care on polycules practicing non-traditional relationship styles, individuals, and couples seeking our help for a variety of needs, and our team of relational therapists are sex-positive, queer-affirming & trans-affirming, and kink & polyam-affirming.

Camille Saunders - Camille is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapy Associate who graduated with her Masters of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy from Pacific Lutheran University. She runs her own private practice at Camille A. Saunders Therapy Services where she works with her clients virtually all over Washington state from her home office in Sumner. Camille A. Saunders supports individuals and their partners who struggle with anxiety, chronic pain and illness, relationship issues, self-esteem, and sex. She loves working with queer, poly, kinky, and witchy folks in her therapy practice.

Paradox Therapy - Life can be full of stress, anxiety, and overwhelming problems. Whether it’s a change in the environment, recurring memories of past traumas, questions about your gender or sexuality, or just too many things coming at you all at once- we can help. Paradox Therapy is a multi-specialty clinic dedicated to providing quality, individualized, evidence-based care to individuals and groups. We are located in Seattle, WA and provide in-person and telehealth services to those located in Washington state.

Sarah Stuteville - Life is wild, being a person is hard and everyone deserves support. I am a Mental Health Counselor who works with individuals (18+) and relationships, with a specialty in working with non-monogamous, polyamorous and queer clients. I am compassionate, nonjudgemental and curious. I see beauty and humor in the hard and I believe our struggles can help us find meaning, build connections and foster growth.

Autumn Star - Autumn is a therapist who works with couples, polycules, platonic life partners, families and groups. They specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+, neurodivergent, and poly/ENM community in navigating communication struggles, new relationships, relationship changes, and gender identity.

Joanna Darsey-Moss - Joanna (she/her) is a systemic-thinking therapist who offers individual, couple, and family therapy for adults. She primarily works with LGBTQIA+ folks and ethically non-monogamous folks. She has specialized knowledge and experience working with transgender clients and polyamorous clients as well as those who are living with chronic illness.

Businesses

Amy McKenna - Managing broker at Windermere Ballard, proudly and empathetically serving homebuyers and sellers with all kinds of unique needs, including those from the polyamorous, queer & kink communities. Knowledgeable, proactive, and responsive, I guide clients carefully through all stages of the buying and selling process. With every transaction, I donate a portion of my commission both to the Windermere Foundation as well as a nature conservancy, animal welfare, or community organization.

Distant Worlds Coffee - Distant Worlds Coffeehouse is a proudly queer woman owned and caffeine fueled place for geeks of all stripes to gather. Snack on light vegan and vegetarian fare, or try one of their house made pastries, while you sip your latte or cup of tea. Distant Worlds is good for big groups and smaller gatherings.

Jenny Ling Law - At The Law Offices of Jenny Ling, PLLC, our focus is on making sure you and your family are taken care of, whether it be estate planning, small business advising, child protection planning, real property investing, or advising in times of financial distress. We call it planning for your legal life. Our team of attorneys and staff are compassionate and dedicated to assisting our clients with their legal needs. We also provide many of our services (including estate planning) on a flat fee basis because our clients should never be scared they will get a bill just for asking a question.

Navigator Advisers - Navigator Advisers is a local Financial Planning firm focused on designing flexible financial strategies for our clients. We pride ourselves in empowering our clients through basic money knowledge not taught in school to alleviate the confusion and awkwardness of financially adulting…and taking that financial empowerment to the next level. Whether it you’re planning for yourself or yourself and your chosen family, the Navigator Advisers Team is here to help make that planning as stress-free as possible.

Phoenix Comics and Games - Phoenix Comics & Games is Capitol Hill’s premier comic shop. Proudly queer and poly owned for over a decade, Phoenix provides everything you need for your comics and gaming needs from comic book subscription services to TTRPG, board games, TCGs, graphic novels and more. Our event calendar is packed with a variety of gaming events, and our board game library is freely available anytime we’re open for folks who just want to stop by and try out a new game. Online orders are available through our web store, where we offer in-store pickup, local delivery, and flat-rate shipping.

Salmon Bay Lending (Ruby Grynberg) - With a degree in Social Work and a love a math, I have been helping people navigate the real estate and lending worlds for over 2 decades. I founded Salmon Bay Community Lending in 2006 out of a drive to create a place for people to learn, strategize and ultimately accomplish their home buying goals in a setting that is colorful and inclusive of all backgrounds. Though a Seattle native, I grew up mostly overseas and am fluent in Spanish. Outside of mortgage, I am the proud and mighty Mama of 4 boys, play a mean fiddle, and love all things dance, especially Argentine tango. Whether in music, dance or mortgage, my North star is creating community and helping others accomplish their goals.

Books

When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People and Relationships by Elisabeth Sheff - Having a friend or family member come out to you as polyamorous can be confusing and stressful. Chances are, you have a lot of Is this just a phase? Won’t they settle down someday? What’s going to happen to their kids? Do I have to invite all their partners over for Thanksgiving dinner? Why can’t they just keep it in the bedroom? When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous offers answers to these and more questions, to help you better understand and support your polyamorous loved ones.

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy - If you've ever yearned for love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy, The Ethical Slut will open you up to infinite possibilities. Relationship pioneers Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths about sluthood and show you how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle through open communication, emotional honesty, and safer-sex practices. This updated and expanded edition includes new strategies for single sluts, advice on how to open an existing relationship or marriage, and exercises to help you and your partners define relationships on your own terms. Whether you’re a card-carrying slut or just testing the waters, you’ll learn how to expand your circle of lovers and partners, balance your family and personal life, and discover romance and friendship beyond your dreams.

Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships by Jase Lindgren, Dedeker Winston, and Emily Sotelo Matlack - When Multiamory authors Dedeker Winston, Emily Sotelo Matlack, and Jase Lindgren started producing their advice show about polyamory and other non-traditional relationships, they received dozens of questions from listeners about all sorts of relationship quandaries and communication stalemates. Over the course of many years and hundreds of episodes, they have spent hours nerding out over research, reading up on evidence-based relationship advice, and listening to the personal struggles of hundreds of couples and individuals. They have re-tooled commonplace communication frameworks to fit modern-day relationships, and when there was no existing tool that fit, they put on their inventor hats and developed their own. This has led to the creation of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships, a curated collection of the most popular communication tools, advice, and wisdom from the Multiamory podcast that have helped thousands of listeners improve their communication and create healthy relationships.

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino - Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships -- from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá - Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science--as well as religious and cultural institutions--has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.

The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families by Elisabeth Sheff - Marriage and monogamy are not what they used to be, and today many couples are opting to start families before getting married, or deciding not to get married at all. At the same time, gay couples in states that recognize same-sex marriage are getting married in droves. Some people prefer non-monogamy and have relationships that include swinging and polyamory. The landscape of American marriage and relationships is changing, and a variety of family systems are developing and becoming more common. The Polyamorists Next Door introduces polyamorous families, in which people are free to pursue emotional, romantic, and sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time, openly and with support from their partners, sometimes forming multi-partner relationships, or other arrangements that allow for emotional and sexual freedom within the family system.

More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert - Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Absolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now the new book More Than Two can help you find your own way. With completely new material and a fresh approach, Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert wrote More Than Two to expand on and update the themes and ideas in their wildly popular polyamory website.

Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern - Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern extends attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a theoretical treatise and a practical guide.

Stories From the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families by Elisabeth Sheff - An anthology of work from people living in polyamorous families of all configurations. Welcome to the polycule: the network created by the interconnections of polyamorous relationships. Just like the molecules that make up all living things, polycules come in diverse forms: large, small, tightly bound, loosely connected, static, ever-changing. How do polycules form, what do they look like, how do they transform through time, and how do they, sometimes, end?

The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love by Dedeker Winston - No one likes a know-it-all, but everyone loves a girl with brains and heart. The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory is an intelligent and comprehensive guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of alternative love, offering relationship advice radically different from anything you'll find on the magazine rack.

Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships by Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson - Contemporary relationships are in a state of rapid evolution. These changes can and should empower people with the opportunity to develop partnerships based on their own sexualities, understandings, and agreements. This makes it possible to create what Kenneth Haslam, founder of the Kinsey Institute’s Polyamory Archive, has called “designer relationships.”

Podcasts

Life on the Swingset - Life on the Swingset is a podcast and website about swinging, polyamory, and open relationships from the trenches. Through debates, interviews, and sexy discussions, The Swingset Crew tackles sex, relationships, and their accompanying accoutrements, and what it means to be open sexually in a world that’s often closed.

Love ‘n Color - Love ‘n Color is an upbeat relationship and lifestyle podcast. It’s goal is to educate and entertain, as well as amplify the voices of marginalized communities and folx in non-traditional relationships.

Loving Without Boundaries - The Loving Without Boundaries show offers interviews, lessons & insights on the subjects of polyamory & ethical non-monogamy. Our mission is to create more awareness & acceptance of these lifestyle choices through education, communication & the respectful exchange of ideas. We seek to promote healthy relationships, tolerance & understanding. We love to create, share stories of courage and growth, encourage loving responsibly, and spread positive energy. So come join us!

Making Polyamory Work - Grounded in reality and untamed honesty, Libby Sinback tackles the hard questions about how to create and maintain authentic, loving, and healthy nonmonogamous relationships.

Mistakes Were Made - Non monogamy for imperfect people. Hosted by a queer therapist and her husband of 15 years. Sarah & Alex share their experiences opening their marriage, and interview guests about the struggles & rewards of doing relationships your own way. Mistakes Were Made is part advice, part confession, part culture critique. But it’s all about learning from our missteps and stumbling toward liberation.

Multiamory - Multiamory offers support and advice for modern relationships. Whether you are monogamous, polyamorous, swinging, casually dating, or if you just do relationships differently, we see you and we’re here for you.

Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Hi! We're Emma and Fin! We're a married couple in our early thirties who have been exploring non-monogamy for over a decade. Every week we interview people from across the spectrums of gender, sexuality, and relationship styles to hear their amazing stories. Many of our guests identify as swingers or polyamorous. However, quite a few have redefined non-monogamy in their own way by blending swinging and polyamory into a unique hybrid that works for them.

Polyamory Weekly Podcast - Poly Weekly is a podcast devoted to tales from the front of responsible non-monogamy from an inclusive, kink-friendly point of view. Every week, Minx, her cohorts, and her guests discuss issues relating to communication, gender, race, sex, kink, manners, dating, family, and time management, with perspectives from all around the globe.

Probably Poly - For the curious intellectual listener, Probably Poly offers a warm, interesting and genuinely cutting edge approach to polyamory. Seeking to unravel the relationship ethics behind non-monogamy, the hosts Michael, Mandy and Sarah have a way of breaking down any topic into it’s constituent parts, and leaves the listener feeling smarter, stronger and more loved. The podcast tackles issues that anyone who is experimenting with polyamory need to be aware of, in a non-judgemental way.

Unnatural to Some - Take a deep dive with Jay Weiler, Nikki Sapphire, and Jenny Bangz as they discuss current and historical topics in LGBTQ+, Polyamory, BDSM, the adult industry, and anything else that would be Unnatural To Some.

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel - Listen to the incomparable therapist Esther Perel counsel real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal, and complicated details of the conflicts that have brought them to her door. This season Esther speaks to a constellation of new relationships: A couple wrestling with the guilt they feel over the happiness their infidelity created. Another trying to make space for their queerness in an outwardly appearing hetero relationship. A set of friends trying to sort out if their childhood friendship needs to continue into adulthood. And Esther checks back in with couples from seasons past to see where they are now as she creates a space for us to hear our own lives and struggles articulated in the stories of others. So....where should we begin?

Websites

Nonmonogamy Academy - NMA was created by two therapists who wanted to help their community better navigate their relationships, regardless of what structure they take. The website includes a blog with many useful tips, and a six part course on navigating basic skills, creating agreements and boundaries, having safer sex conversations, navigating new relationship energy, overcoming jealousy, and understanding metamour relationships.

The Polyamorists Next Door - Using empirical information based in academic research, this blog explores the issues facing polyamorous relationships and families. It covers topics as diverse as sexuality to parenting, jealousy to coming out to families of origin, and employment and housing discrimination to online dating.

Polyamory in the News - Tracking the coverage of polyamory in the media since 2005, plus ongoing news of the poly movement.

Alan's List of Polyamory Events - An often-updated list of polyamory-related conferences, workshops, and events going on all over the globe.

PolyLove.Life - Polyamory is hard. Help is here. The missing field guide to polyamory.

Polyamory Foundation - The Polyamory Foundation will provide grants to, and may otherwise aid, projects and/or organizations that advance awareness and understanding of egalitarian, ethical polyamory as a valid and workable relationship choice; or that inform the public of polyamory’s principles and best practices; or that support the needs and interests of the polyamory community (persons engaging in or identifying with egalitarian, ethical polyamory). For purposes of the Foundation, "polyamory" will be defined as multiple intimate loving relationships carried out with the full knowledge and consent of all persons affected.

OPEN - OPEN (Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy) is a nonprofit dedicated to fostering the polyamory and non-monogamy movement by advancing cultural acceptance, building political power, and supporting non-monogamous communities and leaders.

Loving More - Opening the door to freedom and possibilities in loving relationships, through education, awareness, and acceptance of polyamory.

The Polyamory Society - The Polyamory Society is a nonprofit organization which promotes and supports the interest of individuals of multipartner relationships and families. Currently the Society provides information and is building membership.

Pan Eros Foundation - Pan Eros Foundation celebrates and cultivates consent and sexuality through the arts and education for all. Inspiring a better world by promoting respectful interaction through consent education to cultivate sexuality as a healthy, integral part of being human. We support people through art and education by creating space for finding and expressing their whole selves; celebrating the full spectrum of sexuality across race, ethnicity, nationality, gender, orientation, identity, ability, class, and religion. Our largest programs, the Seattle Erotic art Festival and the Consent Academy, embody our work and create a community for that supports those doing the work with us.